Getting a divorce

I want you all to know I tried. I tried to show Larry I was sorry that I hurt him and I was changing. I tried to show him I would try to forgive him for the girl and all the new info on that and is adultery. But he can't give up the girl I asked him to cut all ties with her yesterday to make me happy and he can't. I can't do this anymore. I tried, I waited, I got hurt, he will never forget the last years we were married so I am supposed to be ok with this and be a single mom. Nice. I am not happy and I have to deal with my emotions with the kids. Not cool, not fair. I have to go to work and be fake to patients when they ask how I am I can't stay home and curl up in a ball in my bed all day and try to sleep it all away I have to go to work to keep my job and make it on my own. I am so mad that I am not worth saving! I tried to keep us all together I tried to make it work that he could be a 24/7 dad to his kids and he will not give me 100% because of how our marriage was. Why not! Why not! So I am done. I am getting a divorce I have to share my kids with Larry, I have to move on and be ok with this. He could have chosen to say yes I will cut all ties with the girl and he didn't! This makes me so mad. He wants to be happy how can he now? I don't get it. His lose. My lose because I will not see my kids 24/7 and he is ok with that because this is what he wants to do since it is not fair to keep me in limbo cause he doesn't know when he or if he will ever let me in 100%. What the hell! Yes, I am mad, yes I am hurt.