:: me ::

I love Irish or any soundtrack kind of music and my new favorite music artis is Elizaveta!  So she is my music fav for the month of July even though the month is almost over.  I love her crazy look and I wish I could sing as high as she does :) but I was not blessed with that octave. 

Today my youngest was too grumpy and my oldest and I went skating and had a good time until he was too tired and I realized I need to get them out more and running. But that makes me sad cause I feel like I am trying so hard to be a mom and take care of the house that I realize that I am failing in keeping them in shape so it makes me sad. So I gotta figure out how to take care of me and them in regards to our health so just another thing to add to my list but I love them so it is worth it.  I wish I lived in Canby sometimes cause this would all be so much easier with family right there but gotta do what we gotta do just wish I knew how it is all gonna work out. 

So I gotta figure out what to do with me and how to change my attitude about it all and do better for me kids and get them out and about in the outdoors and still get the housework done and get them into making their world healthy for them and it all starts with me.  me.  so I better be a good example and get them out of our doors and realize that our house can just be messy and we need air and we need to work our leg muscles cause Hunter's get tired after a half an hour on the ice and we/I need to see we need to work on our strengths in our muscles and it all starts with me and how I show/train my whomps how the real world is in regards to how we work our muscles and bones and the bodies we have been given.  me.  i am the one to show them.  good luck to me :)

:: weekends ::

I am not gonna lie weekends are hard for me.  Why?  Cause I don't want to do it all on my own.  Stupid, I know.  But after doing this for over 3 years and 1 year by myself I am not a fan of weekends.  Not going to be until we are all together and I don't have to do it by myself anymore. Why?  Cause it is so much more fun to have our Papa with us cause I know I am not alone, I know that I will have help, I know that I will have an adult to talk to in the house and be an adult with, I know that I will be able to sleep in or go take a walk by myself, I know that I don't have to take care of the house and yardwork by myself, and I know that I will have Larry with me and have some us time.  When he isn't here it is just me and the whomps and I am doing it all.  So I am still not a fan of weekends and now it is a little harder cause Hunter's skating lessons are on Wednesday evening instead of Saturday mornings so now I really have to keep us going and clean the house and yard on Saturday instead of Sunday. So it brings me to tonight which is another night getting ready for a new weekend and for some reason I am bummed because me, him, and the whomps are were we are at today.  The picture above makes me smile cause my mom has captured this smile on Larry and Grace twice now in two seperate pictures and it shows how much we all need him here but we know we can't have him so will enjoy him the weekends that he is here with us.

:: happenings ::

This is what is happening in my life...

**my girlfriend, Noelle, will have her second baby tomorrow and then her man goes back to Afganistan for the rest of the year in a week.

**i haven't started my training yet for my 1/2 marathon but the doc i work for might train with me :)

**larry and i had a scuff on the phone yesterday and i wasn't a doormat and communicated my feelings and it was a good war and in the end the communication was good.  i love being called boss i don't take offense and i shouldn't i take pride in it because i am the boss where we are at in regards to the whomps, life, and house, and my job.

**my buddy is doing great in skating even though today he said he didn't want to anymore cause it makes him sweat.  i need to show him that all sports make you sweat.  i love that he has a friend named David and him and David are the only kiddos in this class and their Coach Barb realizes they want to be hockey players and use hockey as a way of showing how to skate better. my goal is to get my buddy his stick in his hand and he will be one happy boy.

**i am on book three of the book of the game of thrones.

**my lovely Miss G has been so grumpy lately i think it has been a full moon for a month i am going to try to get this girl into something soon.  she doesn't want to be a ballerina anymore cause they were black so she wants to be a fisherman so will see how my goal of making her happy in this area of her life. today she said she needed worms in order to be a fisherman.  so this mama better get on the worms!

**i love my family van!  i love all the special little electronic features in it!  i love that i can get us all in it and press so many buttons and doors open and Misha is a big fan of the back seat :)

**i love that next month is my birthday month and we are taking the whole week and going to Sunriver as a family!  we haven't been anymore this many days spending the night and i am so excited it will truly be a vacation!  no housework only to take care of the house we are in and we are going to swim, bike, hike, and go horse back riding! i am so excited we have never done this before we usually just take one night somewhere this time we will be gone a whole week and my birthday lands right in the middle of it all!  we picked sunriver instead of disneyland cause it is so much cheaper and we are still trying to get out of debt!

This picture makes me smile.  Why?  Cause it shows me how teamwork and communication work.  Larry and I wanted to get this kite up for Hunter.  He got it as a birthday gift last year from his Ma and Pa and he wanted to take it to the beach. So we did.  It just makes me smile that Larry and I are where we are today.  Working together as a team and communicating together to make it work.  Even the kite didn't fly that much it was just about the effort to get it up to make our buddy smile and be happy his was up like the other kites around his. :)

:: bad day

Welcome to Grace's favorite song or one of her many favorite songs!  She is an Alvin and the Chipmunks fan!  Anyone of their songs she hears she is like oh mama this is my favorite song!  But for the moment she likes this one.  So for anyone having a bad day just remember this song and that Grace loves to hear it and hope it makes you smile :)  I have the Chipmunks on my Pandora cause of my 3.5 year old girl who thinks she is a 10 year old.  Oh and to let you all know she doesn't want to be a ballerina anymore cause I showed her a picture of one wearing a black suit and pink tights and she was a no go on the black suit and I asked her what she wants to be then and she said a fisherman.  Wow, gotta love her.  So not sure how I am going to fufill my little girls dream of being a fisherman after I ask her if she wants to catch crab and she says no that she wants to catch Oregon fish.  Love her.

And also Hunter goes to bed with no pj's now.  This is big for this mama cause I have never had to go through this before.  To have this much skin showing on my big boy when he goes to bed and wakes up and hangs out in the am before he gets dressed is alot for this poor mom's heart.  When he asked me the other day if he could not wear his shirt to bed I was like ok but thought oh my goodness but didn't say anything and then the next night he didn't want his pj shorts.  So I was like ok I gotta let him be him so I let him but in my head I just see a teenager not a 5.5 year old!  This is too much for me this isn't supposed to happen now!  But he is happy as a clam so I gotta let him do what he wants even though it is so weird and crazy to see him with out his pj's I have put them on him for 5 years this is tough for me to swallow but I gotta let him.  But it is a big step towards being big I just have to suck it up and let it be.  But he looks cute in his skinniness and more like his papa not gonna lie :)

I stayed up way to late this weekend watching a cute movie thought I would let you know what I thought of it!  It is called "Just go for it"  it was totally cute it had Jennifer Aniston in it and the morals aren't the best but it was a great movie I laughed in it and thought it was a great chick flick!

:: my crazy new goal ::

So here is my crazy new goal...I am going to to a half marathon next year in Canby!  I can't do it this year it is next month but I am going to train myself for it and it will take me a good year, why?  Cause this girl is out of shape and I need to walk first to make it up to jogging a mile and then more.  Why will it take me a year?  Cause of my way of life it is a little difficult with kids and a dog but I am going to try to figure it out.  I do not want to ask family and friends to help me out just to go walk or jog I gotta figure out how to make it work with my lifestyle I have.  My advantage is I have a high school track in walking distance!  I am going to do most of my walking there.  I am not a fan of Oregon City's hills and the sidewalks have tree roots in them and some sidewalks are people's yards so that is a no go and there is so many hills.  So the highschool track is going to be my friend in the beginning.  I learned from a app how to keep track of how far you have walked on a track.  I feel stupid not realizing it but you start on track one and when you have done a lap go to the next track 2 and so forth and that is how many times you have been around the track.  Crafty.  4 laps equals a mile.  My other issue is my kiddos and my dog.  Once Misha sees my tennis shoes on she knows and my kids are not that keen yet but once I take them to the track Hunter is all about going around it Grace not so much she is done with in 10 minutes.  And all I want to do is get in my zen and listen to my music in my ears and walk around the track.  Misha is good for about 2 times around the track and she is done cause the hill to the track is big for her both ways.  So will see how this goes.  When Larry is home I go for some down time and to get a couple of laps in.  So far I have done 4 laps in one session bad I know but I am working up to it.  Difficult when you got kiddos and a dog but I am trying not to make them an excuse and to just do it.  So August next year I am doing the 1/2 Marathon and you can quote me on it :)

::va.ca.tion ::

I am here.  I have been on my 4th of July vacation!  My last day of work was tuesday at 5pm after 2 crazy, busy short staffed days and went back to work today.  It was a nice vacation got to spend the 4th with Larry and the whomps and we stayed home most of the day then we went to Canby to see the parade and do General Canby Days and we watched fireworks at our house and stayed home for my oldest, my Misha dog.  We set off little fun fireworks and I made Pioneer Woman's Spicy Dr. Pepper pulled pork and crock potted it for dinner it was super spicy and too hot for me; but delishes for pulled pork sandwhiches. :)  I took alot of pictures with my camera but I am too lazy right now to download them.  Then Larry got alot of my projects done that I had on my new list of things to do and it was awesome to have help with them :)  He told Grace she could have pink paint above her bed since she shares a bunkbed with her brother and I painted that after she choice the color.  I feel bad that is the only pink paint in their room the rest is green and blue.  But she seems ok with it.  We did so much and got so much done it was nice.  We went to the beach and spent the night with Misha and my mom and Wayne stayed the night at the beach too it was a fun time and my Grace was grumpy most of the time I think it twitters her a little bit to have to share her Papa and do things with her Papa that she gets emotional and unsure about it all and just wants her voice to be heard even if it is very annoying and stresses us out but we powered through and we survived an overnighter to the beach it was fun.  Now I am back to work and back to the grind of it all but at least I got a break and hung out with my little family and got away this weeked and saw the ocean it was a great little mini vacation! :)

:: fireworks and dogs ::

In my house 4th of July has started. Not only do we eat red,white, and blue popsicles, and have flag colors all over but Misha is already hating 4th of July.  Started last night after 10pm.  I wasn't ready for it and once she is scared from the fireworks she is done and takes her hours to get better.  I didn't get to sleep until after midnight.  Some dogs hate fireworks and Misha is one of them.  It is like watching a person who has come back from war and the sound of the fireworks sets them off and they go ballastic same for some dogs.  Misha shivers, pants, walks around all over the house trying to find a safe place.  To her it usually is under Grace's bed.  It is horrible and lasts forever.  I wish I could tell people please don't do your fireworks until the 4th for people who have pets that are like Misha.  The 4th of July is hell for her and I feel so bad and that is one reason I don't take my kids to big firework displays like Canby or Portland cause my poor dog would be all by herself going through all I mentioned above.  Before we had Hunter we left her at home and I feel horrible knowing what she was going through and we didn't even know it.  This year if Larry takes the whomps to Canby I am going to stay with Misha cause she is my baby too and I feel so bad for her.  So tonight at 7:30pm more fireworks started and she started pacing and I gave her half a Benadryl and I hope that helps her tonight.  Every year I have to Benadryl her and I feel so bad but if it helps her I will do it.  The thing is when you have dogs that are scared at this time of the year you have to give them Benadryl before, during, and after.  So not cool but it is so hard on them when they are so scared of hearing the fireworks.  I hope my Mish sleeps good tonight I got to go to work tomorrow but if not I am up for round 2 of 4th of July week I love my girl too much to watch her suffer. 

So when you see those billboards about fireworks and dogs don't mix just read them and realize that what they say is true.

:: plans for the 4th ::

A coworker told me to go back on Facebook today that she missed me on it and since I didn't see pictures of her new dog she will be getting and had to ask her about her instead of seeing them on FB.  And guess what I had a moment of sure I will get back on then I thought you know what I am doing so good without it that I am not in the know about everyone and their lives if I need to know about someone I need to be social and ask, text, call or do something other then see it on FB.  So I am still a no go about FB and I am fine with it. Lonely, yes but surviving and doing fine with out it! :)

Crazy, but this 4th of July Larry will be home and I don't even remember the last time he was home for one.  I think when Hunter was born which was 5 years ago so maybe 4 years ago was his last one with us.  I am super excited and not sure what we are going to do either probably stay home and watch the fireworks around us.  Misha hates fireworks and shivers/shakes for hours during and after the fireworks she hates them so I usually stay home with her and the kids and put her in the bathroom with the fan on and give her Benadryl and take the kids to the porch and watch and hope she is ok an put the kids to bed and then take care of Misha shivering in my bed until all the fireworks are done which could be after midnight.  So happy Larry will be here to have fun with our fireworks we get and to help and experience the trauma of it all with Misha.  I would never leave her at the house by herself anymore once I realized what she goes through I stay with her.  I would even be fine with the kids seeing big fireworks for the first time at Canby and I would stay home with Misha just cause I know how bad it is for her.  So will see how or what we do but I am excited for this 4th of July cause Larry will be home!  Yeah!  So at the moment we have no plans for the 4th and I love that and I have to work Monday and Tuesday next week and I am off until Monday!

:: what I have done this week ::

~ I took a hammer to our old toilet and banged the heck out of it and put the pieces in the recycling bins and trash to be picked up tomorrow:)
~I stood up for myself today and took charge and it felt good.
~I finally painted the water vase black this weekend in front of my kitchen window. 
~I keep emailing the blind company asking why my kitchen window blinds are not here and they should have been here it has been over 3 weeks!
~I am mowing the yard now :)
~This weekend, I spent over 3 hours with my kids at the car dealership to get my new van fixed and to get some cool stuff added to it.
~I am learning more then I need to know about Chess from Hunter.
~I am listening to my Buddy read any book that he gets in front of him and see that he can read anything and everything. Crazy. And I am not kidding he can read!  Yes, he messes up on some words but it isn't alot!
~Showed my daughter that when I say no I mean it.  Tough days we went through let me tell you.  I don't think she has it figured out 100 % yet but she is getting it. 
~Colored with Grace on coloring papers she didn't finish.  I am a great colorer let me tell you!
~Finally finished the book "A Clash of Kings" I have been reading over 3 months!  Can't wait to start another new book now next one is book 3!!
~Watched Leap Year this weekend and cried and I thought it was an AWESOME movie!

What did you do? :)

:: a song to shake your shoulders to ::

This is my Summer song! Grace and I shake our shoulders to it in the car. It is our ""girl song". And they play it on K103! I hear it at work which is so crazy. Yes, I listen to other stations other than country. :) I am so not ready for guys to call my baby girl so I hope she doesn't understand the words and just likes the beat like me...

:: just cause ::

So I am going back to my past on this post.  Found a cool Christian song today with a little twist on it.  I love Casting Crowns and they do great songs but this video had a twist to it with visual affects.  I am not the best Christian anymore in the past yes when I was in grade school and highschool I was cause I went to a Christian school.  Not so much now. But after putting Hunter in a Lutheran Preschool for the purpose of location for me and family he has been talking so much about God and death that I feel like I need to make a step back or try to.  Alot of my issues has to deal with the school I went to and how much I took it to heart and how it affected my marriage and where I am today that I am a little gun shy to jump back into it all.  Not gonna lie.  But I still listen to the music how could I not I worked at a bible store and grew up in a private school.  So will see what happens baby steps for me for sure. :)  Enjoy. 

:: my little chess master ::

My Buddy is 5 and he knows how to play chess!  How does he know?  He just learned, I think a week ago, on my mom's Kindle.  He has tried to figure it all out a couple months ago on the computer but it didn't click now he gets it.  He is really good.  He knows the names of the pieces and he knows which way they go.  He amazes me.  He can only beat my mom's Kindle so far. Gramps beat him today and it was a big deal to him I came to my mom's after work and he was so upset that he got beat but it sounded like a great game.  I told Larry a couple days ago he knew how to play chess and if we should get him his own chess game but Larry wasn't sure.  So far it has all been on computer and Kindles.  I think Larry was still unsure Hunter knew how to play. So tonight Larry found a website where he can play chess with Hunter long distance and it was game on.  Hunter was so excited.  We even skyped with Larry but didn't do the video feed at the same time we will try that next time.  I think Larry was very impressed with Buddy.  The game lasted over an hour and Buddy took Larry's Queen first and it was game on. There was alot of silence on Larry's end I could tell he was trying to win and trying to figure out how to.  Larry told Hunter that Hunter did moves he didn't even see coming.  In the end Buddy lost but it was a good time and he wasn't upset about the loss.  I am just so amazed how smart my Buddy is and that he picked up chess so fast.  I think this is just what Hunter and Larry needed since Larry is away and Hunter only likes to Facetime with him sometimes this is a way they can interact while Larry is away for more then 5 minutes. Good bounding time I think God is trying to show us something. :)  So I have a little chess master in my house he might not win but he will give you a run for your money and he is only 5, crazy!

:: the joys of motherhood ::

This sweet, innocent little girl got my stomach bug early, early this am.  I had the stomach bug at the beginning of the week and passed on my sickness to my youngest whomp.  She woke me up twice early this am after midnight to puking in her bed and the last vomit made it in the toilet.  Lovely.  She kept me up all morning and she got to do this for the first time...

She got to sleep on my bedroom floor! This was her very first time and she did well but the animals did not.  The cats love her and wanted to sleep by her but Misha loves her more and would not let them sleep by her so she would bark at them when they got near.  Remember this is probaby about 3 am now after she finally fell asleep and I am so amazed we didn't wake up Hunter with the puking and crying.  This picture was taken when I should have been getting up and the time Grace is usually up cause she is a early riser.  I had to call in sick cause of her puking but after she slept in and her brother didn't and she was bouncing on our couch I realized she had been cured and I couldn't stay home with 2 healthy kiddos when I knew we were short staffed at work so I took them to my mom's and went to work.  Now she has a fever tonight so I am hoping we do not have round 2 tonight.  But last time Grace had the 24 hour bug Hunter and my mom were the only one's that didn't get it so crossing my fingers that happens this year! 

The joys of motherhood is getting hardly any sleep after 1 am but knowing that you were there for your kiddos and even though you are dead tired at the end of the day you try your best to get tylenol in them and get them to bed at a desent hour just in case you got to do it again and hope your other whomps do not get it too!

:: bummed ::

Some evenings I get bummed.  I get bummed about how life turned out.  How things are for my little family of four and sometimes I wished it would not be how it is and that we all could just stay together under the same rough for years and years and not have it the way it is cause it sucks.  But I have to be the strong one and make sure that we all get through it and survive it cause this is where we are at and this is where we are at in our life but it would be nice to be like everyone else and have us under one roof 24/7 like everyone else but we aren't.  We have jobs and that is what is important.  We are paying bills and paying off debt and hopefully we do not need to do it this way for very much longer.  We have done it for over 3 years and I was done a long time ago but you gotta do what you gotta do to make everyone happy and keep our way of livestyle going so we keep doing what we are doing where we are at.  It bums me and then I buck up and remember that I need to be large and in charge and make it do-able for us and but on a smile on my face and tickle my children and go through the weeks that we wait for what we all want to be all together.  And to be thankful that we made it through drama and we are all still together.  Larry calls me boss now and I love that!  In the past I was a doormat and to be called boss now means alot because I am in charge of so much in the last couple of years and I have grown up so much and I am not taking crap like I used to. I have opened my eyes and taken charge of who I am and I love being the Boss and love that I can be dependent on I just wish that I could win the lottery so all of us could be together like eveyone else and not have to deal with what we do and be apart so much it bums me and then I realize at least we have each other and that is something I really should be thankful for. :)

:: my new fav TJ product ::

Yesterday after the whomps and I visited my dad and brought him Father's day ice cream after dinner we went to my favorite place ever...Trader Joe's!  Why do I love TJ's?  It has great produce, great frozen food, great wine selection that is cheap, great kiddo food, great everything!  And all their product is Paraben free and I think their dog treats are made in the USA and not China.  I am a big Paraben free girl, why?  Cause Pareben's have been banned in England and if they are banned in one huge country there must be a reason for it.  Paraben's has been a big contributor to breast cancer so if you have a history of any family having breast cancer you might try to prevent yourself and your daughters from getting it and check out how to keep yourself Paraben free.  I do not have any breast cancer history but if it will help me and Grace later in life I am so for it.  Let me know if you want to know more about Paraben's and why to stay away from it I am all about helping out a friend.  And the reason that I try my best to buy only dog stuff from USA is because alot of China's dog food and treats have been recalled because of how they make it.  But back to my new favorite TJ product can you find it in this picture of my not so great looking kitchen sink???  It is the...

 ...new hand soap I got!  I love hand soap and I have so many I love but I thought I would try this one!  I love the smell and I thought it would match my half curtain and it does!  It makes my lovely green fake tile counter look a little bit brighter don't you think :)  And it made doing the dishes so much easier tonight. 

Doesn't it look so pretty!? :)