:: disappointments ::

It has been a rough weekend.  Last weekend, last week, and this weekend I have been working on the house to put it on the market to sell.  My mom, Wayne, and my friendly neighbor have helped me alot!  I so feel lucky to have them all!  My neighbor tonight knocked on my door to see if he could rota till my veggie beds that I gutted last weekend for the realtor this week. Since he was rota tilling his.  I was so happy!  I meet with the realtor on Thursday to get down to the real dirty business of selling my house.  This is the 3rd time I will try to sell this house.  The first time Larry and I tried to do it ourselves.  The second time I tried with a realtor that knew I couldn't sell it below a certain cost and we were in alot of debt.  This time I found a realtor and I/we will just have to deal with what comes our way.  I hope we sell it and don't make a loss I hope we don't have to short sell I hope we do not have to foreclose but this house will get sold if I have to go back into huge debt to sell it.  Last weekend I gutted my whole garden while my mom watch my kids for a couple of hours and last week put a ton of stuff out from the outside of my property for Canby garbage to pick up in front of my mom's house.  Garden cleaned and nothing other then the lawn mower and recycle bin around our shed.  Nice!  I decided to clean out our laundry room this weekend and all that is in there now is our washer and dryer.  Looks amazing and should have just had that in the first place but when you live in a small house toys have to go somewhere.  Did I mention the laundry room looks amazing...

Nothing in it!  Hoping people think it is amazing and just wanna buy my house!

 

Here is what I did this week.  Took everything away that was in front and the side of my house and my neighbor helped me start my mower after this picture and I mowed and it looks even better!  Now I just have to pressure wash the porch this week or this weekend and that will look better!

 

Here is the backyard.  Gutted.  Weeds gone!  And the neighbor tilled it tonight before I took this pictures 2 weekends ago and it looks amazing!

 

Things are moving along with getting this house ready.  It just sucks that I am doing it all alone right now but at least I have my mom and Wayne and my neighbor!  The neighbor and his wife don't want us to leave but he just wants to help me out.  Super cool.  I just have to get the little bathroom fixed asap (going to see if my dad can help with that) and do all that the realtor says and get this house sold!  Alot of work and alot of stress, but in the end if I can get it sold I will be so happy!  Even if it means going back into debt.  There was a reason we got out of credit card debt maybe it was to make sure that whatever debt we get in from the house we can still make it through. 

The disappointment part of my weekend is I found the perfect place for me and my crew in Canby but it was already rented.  I was and am still bummed that it didn't work out.  I just can't find anything right now for us and I just want to move and start fresh and give my whomps their own rooms and Misha a fenced yard to hang out in.  I keep trying to find this happiness that I keep hearing about but I keep getting denied.  Also, I am scared that I will not make the best decisions about my new future and it is so different it just being me that deciding what to do and I have to make these decisions alone and I just hope that I am making them right.  I am also disappointed in the decisions that other's have made around me.  I just don't get it and don't understand why but I just have to deal with it and move on.  It just sucks and I hope soon things will go my way and things start turning around for me and my little crew soon cause so far we are just doing what other's want and I want to be able to tell my kids guess what those rooms I promised you and that house I said I would get us will just come.  I know I am not that very patient but I just need my house to sell and a great deal on a house to come my way so we can move on from all these disappointments that seem to be burying me and my kids.



:: yes to carrots ::

I have found a new love...the beauty product from Yes to Carrots!  I love my Birchbox that I order each month only cost $10 and I get samples of some fun yummy stuff! And alot of it is organic and safe :)  Yesterday's box came!  Happy dance!  It had some fun stuff in it but 3 things I fell in love with were samples of Yes to Carrots products.  I have been eyeing this brand of stuff for awhile but never bought any but now I am in love!  In my box yesterday was a Yes to Carrots Lip Butter in mint.  Love this!  It is so soft and doesn't make my lips sting it is like butter.  Hee Hee, get it.  The other 2 were one time use samples of Yes to Grapefruit daily facial scrub and and Yes to Grapefruit dark spot correcting serum.  OMG!  I used it instead of my LA Fresh make up remover wipes to clean my face and didn't put any moisturizer on cause I didn't realize I was supposed to after and OMG my face was so soft and smooth this am and just soaked up my moisturizer and my face felt fresh!  I love the grapefruit line of Yes to Carrots line!  I checked out Fred Meyers for more and they had it there but I had just ordered more LA Fresh wipes that after I am done with them (30 wipes so one more month) I will probably switch to the Yes to Grapefruit stuff instead cause they have make up remover wipes too!  You all should check them out!  Yes, they are a little spendy but Paraben free and safe for your skin so so worth it!  I am so saying Yes to Grapefruit! :)

:: matter's of the heart ::

Today once again I was at Kaiser Hospital ICU cardiac unit with my dad.  He had an angiogram this last January and had 2 stents put in and now 2 more today.  I am amazed that he was back in the hospital again for chest pain but he didn't take as long to go in the hospital like in January.  This time it took him 2 days of having the symptoms not weeks. The first go round in January was scary cause I had no clue what would happen or how long angiograms would take.  This time I was more prepared.  Also, he had the same cardiologist and same anesthesiologist! That made me feel so much better cause they fixed him the first time and they were going to again.  And the anesthesiologist remembered me, too!  The cardiologist not so much.  My dad had the option this morning before I got to the hospital to increase his pills or do another angiogram and I am glad he choose to do the angiogram it pretty much increased his life span.  I am not the best daughter to my dad and I should be so much better.  He isn't my blood he adopted me and married my mom in the past.  So I am glad I am the one he calls first or second and if he doesn't call me first he calls his mom.  I realized today after going through this again with him that he is pretty darn proud of me. He loves to talk cause he is a lonely guy who lives by himself and like I said I am not the best daughter cause I don't call him alot.  So when he is around people especially nurses and doctor's he will talk and talk.  He is pretty smart and remembers alot.  He might not be school smart but he is pretty smart.  But you know what...he kept telling the nurses about me the whole time I was with him.  Nurses!  I am not a nurse I am just a medical assistant.  I went to school after being an MA to be a RN but stopped after I got married and never went back to school.  But my dad is so proud of me for what I know and do that he kept telling the RN's who know so much more then me and kept telling them I was a RN and I kept saying no I am a MA.  It is so encouraging to know that my dad thinks so highly of me when I don't when I am in the hospital setting around all the RN's.  But I wouldn't change what I am I am a MA and gonna stay one. :)   I am so glad that my dad thinks the world of me and believes in me and wants me to be the one in charge of what goes on in his life and the after.  It is a big commitment, but I would do it for him and if we have to keep doing more angiograms we got this.  He has a big heart and as I get older I am figuring that out.

:: easter ::

Pictures of my whomps and cousin Nate at Easter :)
 

 

 

They had a wonderful Easter and lots of Easter egg hunts.  We have enough candy and chocolate to last us until the Summer!



:: spring break ::

Our spring break isn't anything to exciting to blog about.  We are not on vacation and we are just staying home.  I have to work all week even on Thursday.  We have no swimming lessons this week but hockey lessons tomorrow.  After work it has been a pretty low key days in the evening.  I have let the kids to whatever they want and let them just veg at home and having no homework to do each night is nice too!  We haven't went anywhere all week.  I haven't dragged them to any practices at all and it has been such a nice feeling.  My mom came to our house this morning to watch the kids so they could actually sleep in this morning instead of me dragging them out of bed to take to my mom's or Annie's for daycare.  It was a nice relaxing morning let me tell you!  My mom came over at 7 am and both kids and Misha were all still sleeping in the kid's room.  I kid you not Misha didn't come out until she realized my mom was in the house and she was so excited which woke up Grace.  I left and Hunter was still sleeping and my mom said he slept till 8 am.  I am so glad I gave him a chance to finally sleep in during his spring break! I have no plans for the rest of the week other then hockey lessons tomorrow and Easter on Sunday!  Grace will start ballerina lessons not this Saturday but next Saturday and she is pretty excited!  We went and checked out the place this last weekend.  She wanted to go and wear her new shoes but I didn't bring them so will see what she thinks in a couple of weekends :)  We took a month off from swimming in April just cause I couldn't get either kiddo in a class so I will restart both kiddos at the end of April in swimming lessons.  I think I need a break from the lessons it is a lot of work to get to the swimming pool 3 days a week!  Happy Spring break everyone!

:: changes ::

Changes are happening in my family and I am not going to blog about them.  Just know that my whomps don't know yet and I would love the people who read my blog that pray that you will pray for my family of 4.  Pray that my whomps will be ok, pray that the decisions that are made are the right ones, and pray for me to be strong and that the anxiety of it all goes away, and pray for Larry.  Thanks.

:: today ::

*** I worked today.  It always changes the dynamics of my week when I have to go to work on my day off.  I don't get to sleep in a little, Misha and I do not get to take the whomps to school and we don't get to run our errands or come back home while they are at school.  I don't get my starbucks in the am.  It is the only day I spend money on a lovely cup of Starbucks.  I don't get to pick up my kids and see their smiley faces and here about their school day while it is all fresh.  I don't get to come home and veg with them until we go to hockey lessons and watch Hunter play practice hockey and I don't get to come home at a descent time after it is all done and veg with my whomps.  I am really thankful for my Thursday's off, can you tell? :)

*** It was day 2 in a row of me calling 911 for a patient who came into the clinic.  Will see if we are on a run and go for day 3.  This usually happens when we only have one doctor and our NP.  Never fails. 

*** I am still sick going on 3 weeks I think if I am not better in the morning I will see if I can get antibiotics instead of Sudafed cause it isn't kicking it anymore and I want to be a healthy mom again.  I drew someones blood today and I had to cough so I did with the needle in them and then I tried not to cough again and I had to transfer tubes and I so wanted to cough and did and then I tried to suppress the cough which didn't end well.  I was able to finish the blood draw but couldn't breathe cause I had suppressed the cough that it ended up in a coughing spasms/fit so bad I felt like I was in an asthmatic fit.  I felt bad for the patient, but I was so thankful I got her blood and didn't have to draw her again.  A girl at work had to give her a band aid for me cause I just couldn't stop coughing.  It just took me 10 minutes to recover from the coughing and breathing and tears in my eyes and get back to normal.  So was not cool.  I hope I don't turn into an asthmatic person after this crud is done.

*** My Buddy did hockey lessons today.  Today he got hurt.  I saw it happen and jumped up and watched it all.  It wasn't bad.  He did his first split ever on the ice with one leg in front of him and one in back of him and landed on the ice.  It all happened so fast for him cause he couldn't stop his skates. I don't think he has ever stretched his legs that far ever and not be able to stop the fall.  I felt so bad.  He was in tears and a coach saw it thank goodness and helped him up.  I was up on my feet watching ready to meet him at the opening of the ice arena but my buddy got up and skated to the other end of the ice.  You could tell he was hurting and didn't want to do that move again that made him fall like that.  I felt so bad.  He wasn't himself after it.  He did great but he wasn't smiling or moving his legs like he usually does.  I didn't blame him one bit.  Afterwards he said he hurt so bad that it made him cry but then it went away and it didn't hurt anymore.  I feel really bad cause his first class of hockey he kept complaining to the coaches that he was tired and such cause he was used to a half an hour of lessons not an hour and wasn't used to it and I told him he needs to try not to complain so much to the coaches unless he is hurting and he did just that today :(  He cried when it happened and got up and powered through the rest of the lesson and he did the splits within 10 minutes of his hour practice.  He is such a rock star.

*** My house is a mess and I am blogging.  Can you tell what I want to do and what I do not want to do?

Happy Thursday night everyone!
me

:: so I like this song too ::

This week at work Dr. D and Jan are gone so us girls are having some fun!  The music at the clinic ALWAYS is K103!  Has been for many years and has been since I was there 10 years ago and they still play it!  So this week us girls (by my suggestion and help) we have listened to Kink on Monday, then yesterday the girls at the front picked Z100 and this morning I got DeOna to put on country!  A first I think ever in the clinic!  Hee Hee!  And she said she actually liked it!  Whoo Hoo!  I am thinking we should listen to country when the Clackamas Fair is going on :)  I really, really enjoyed the music at the clinic today and so did alot of the girls we were singing and humming throughout the day!  So here is another TS song I like that I heard before I got to work that inspired me to just take a leap and ask DeOna can we pretty please listen to country today.  And it worked!  Will see if it stays on the rest of the week. :) Not sure what my deal with TS is lately but her songs just are my fav's at the moment.  Enjoy!

:: random ::

1.  A new Taylor Swift song...



Not sure what I think of it yet.  I did not read The Hunger Games book series.  I watched the first movie and was so disturbed by it that I didn't want to watch the rest of the movies or read the books.  Something about killing people even kids my kids ages to win a game didn't sit well with me.  But I usually like TS's songs so will see.

2.  My new goal is to keep my camera in the van so I can take more pictures...since I seem to forget it when I go places.  Not sure why?  Maybe cause I am packing for 3 and making sure we have snacks and Misha. :)

3.  We are out of credit card debt!  Yeah,  but not sure if Larry will have a job after March.  And we have to wait for him to come home when the job is done this month.  Which he left at the beginning of the month and could come home in April or before.  Alot of stress let me tell you.  I can't spend any money or do anything other then keep us feed and keep the house in order and not spend anymore then that.  I am such an organized person that this bother's me and I am not sure why.  I am bummed that I can't plan anything for the rest of the year.  I can't plan vacations, nothing.  Cause our life is so up in the air with everything that I don't know what will happen after March. Not sure if we will be all together or what.  I wish we could be like any normal family and have us all together and all of us happy with where we are at in our life and our life choices but that isn't where we are at.  Need some prayers our way.  I wish I could just spill out my soul to you all but my blog is not the place for that.

4.  My Grace knows all about Leprechaun's now.  She learned about them at school today.  :)  She told me they set a trap at school for the silly, crazy, makes messes, eats and makes golden chocolates Leprechaun (her own words) to catch him in their trap for St. Patrick's day.  And she knows he is going to make messes in his trap!  Larry on the phone tonight said it sounds like SHE could be a Leprechaun from the description she told him.  :)  I told her I agree with her Papa!

5.  My Misha doesn't sleep under my bed anymore.  This makes me super sad.  But she does have her bed in my kids room at the end of their bed.  I am glad she is in there.  She sleeps all night with them.  I wish she was under my bed but I know for some reason she wants to be in their room and I am at peace with it.  I am just still sad she isn't with me.  She goes to her bed in the kids room when they do and gets her treat in her bed and she is asleep before they are.  She wakes up when I turn off the house alarm and comes out of their room.  I do find comfort that she is in there with them but I really liked having my dog with me, but she is with my most precious things in the world.

6.  Hunter did amazing at his 6 year appointment at the clinic, where I work.  He has grown up so much and can talk to adults he knows that it makes me proud just to sit by him and let him be himself and answer questions from adults!  He adores Dr. Bridgeman and he gets all shy at first with him but then just wants to talk her ear off.  She says he is just amazing and so grown up!  We picked her up today before work to help her out and she went to Canby with us from the OC and my kids were just in awe she was in our car and then we took her home after work and they just couldn't get why we she was in our car and why were helping out.  They are so cute but at least they know that she is their doctor and their mama works for her.  She said on the way to her house that they speak so well and have amazing speaking skills especially Grace.  I am so proud of my kids they put on their good behavior 100% in our car today. :)

:: hunter turns 6! ::

Today my Hunter Thomas turned 6!  It was a fun day of going to the beach with him, his sister, Misha, and I!  I will try to post pictures tomorrow, but I am so behind in house cleaning and laundry it is crazy!  Here are my Buddy's stat's for 6..

Weight  53 lbs (84 %)
Height   47 inches (90 %)

Once again DeOna is amazed at how tall he is and that he will be taller then Larry!  I tell her each well child check she that she has told me that since his 2 month check.  Reality has already hit me that he will be tall because the same day he came into the clinic another girl had her 6 year WCC and she didn't even reach past my chest and my Buddy is up to my armpits!  Sigh he is getting so big and so grown up and I can't believe he is officially 6!

:: snow ::

Snow + beautiful sunny day = a fun family day on the mountain!

My camera + my family having fun = some amazing pictures!

Enjoy the pictures it was such an enjoyable day!  Tubing, Hunter learning to ski, and playing in the snow.  I could do it all again this weekend. :)

 

 

 

 

 



:: new design ::

I wanted to change my blog from Valentine's look to St. Patty's look, but the blog I use wasn't working anymore that I could tell so I went with the generic of blog world and that is what I am using.  Still not 100% happy with it but it will do.  I hope to post pictures of Hunter's birthday and my family going to the mountain for a snow day, soon.  :)  And I actually used my camera instead of my phone!  I took some amazing pictures of my kids so it has inspired me to keep my camera closer to me now!

:: my buddy and his birthday party ::

Today was Hunter's birthday party!  I am sad to say I didn't take one single picture.  I was trying so hard to talk to everyone at the party and make sure my kids were happy and good and the other kids were happy and good and to try to talk to everyone and eat that I didn't even pick up my camera even though I brought it.  Thank my lucky stars my mom took pictures and photos and I know they will be awesome and she is my saving grace so I can't wait until I get those and then I can share them with all of you!  Hunter turns 6 next Saturday and Larry leaves after this weekend so this is the first time he has been to a birthday party in a long time of Hunter's so that is why we did it early.  I usually do their party on their actual birthday so not to confuse them but this year we did it different so Larry could be a part of both of their parties.  We started off Hunter's birthday party day going to his favorite place...Krispie Kreme (aka the donut shop)!  Larry went night skiing with his brother last night and I told the whomps if they went to bed awesome we would take them to Krispie Kreme and they did so we went.  Hunter loves to watch them make the donuts and the last few times we went they haven't but this morning they did!  We got there early right at 8 and had breakfast.  Then it was off to get him a haircut!  We took him to a new place in the OC that Larry went to the day before.  Let me tell you that he just chatted away with the hairdresser and she did an amazing job on his hair and even spiked it!  He looks amazingly different now!  He looks 3 times older and looks like Larry and Larry's dad it is amazing!  When he is concentrating now on something he looks like Larry's dad and he looks like Larry 24/7.  Then we all went to Fred Meyers and Larry and Grace went to get Hunter a birthday present and Buddy and I went to get batteries and flowers.  Larry started something new this year.  I haven't gotten birthday presents for our kids since they have been born.  My bad I know but I did their parties and bought the food and favors that I just couldn't buy gifts.  So this year for Grace's birthday Hunter and Larry went to Fred Meyers before her birthday party and picked out some presents and wrapped them so we had to do the same for Hunter.  :)  He wanted to go to Chuck E. Cheese for his birthday party and we did!  We invited family and the Corley family.  They have 3 kids and one of them is his best friend, Logan.  He had a blast and it was really overwhelming for me with trying to not loose both our kids and the Corley's kids in the game area but we prevailed and no one was lost.  I was so proud of my Buddy he tried new things and was such a big boy and was so very excited he blew out all of his candles with one blow!  It was a great night and I am so proud of my kids for being who they are and making sure that they show respect and listen to their family and showing love and laughing and being who they are even though they are silly and crazy in the end they are some amazing whomps.

Both Larry and I just kept looking at Hunter tonight with his new haircut and just in awe of how grown up he looks.  I just can't believe my oldest will be 6 next weekend.  He is doing amazing in school now and he read every single birthday card he got before he opened the gift and knew who it was from before he opened it just by reading.  He is amazing and I can't believe I get to be his mom and soak up all his love and be there to tuck him in at night after an exciting day in his life.

Maybe pictures and video's from his birthday party, tomorrow!

:: credit card debt = $0 ::

I am so excited!! Larry just paid off the last credit card debt that I have or we have!  He still has a credit card he uses to buy airline tickets but our bad past debt is gone!  My bank account says $0 for my credit card with them and I have no other credit cards. I haven't used a credit card in over 4 years! Now the car and jeep are paid off!  Happy Dance!  We do have the new van's loan, student loans, and house that we have to pay off but I am only talking about credit card debt!  I believe our credit card debt was around $25,000!  It is all gone now!  Whoo Hoo! 

:: randomness ::

 Last weekend was a lazy weekend.  My whomps and I didn't go anywhere and stayed home the whole weekend.  We didn't get in our van until we had to go on Monday morning.  It was so nice and so relaxing!  I actually napped while my kids had their rest time and they were awake doing their thing.  That has never happened before but it was a nice rest for us all.  Here are some pictures from last weekend. 

 

Misha in the catio.  So not cool.  She wanted in it all day and I had to put a gate up by the entrance inside so she wouldn't go out in it at night.  I even slept on the couch cause I didn't want her to get out and lost.  Long night let me tell you!  That is probably why I had to take a nap.  She was just acting weird all day so I was hoping she wasn't getting sick or crazy on me.  She was better the next day.  She hasn't been in the catio since, thank goodness.  I would be fine with her being in it but the first day she was in there I wasn't home and she tried to get out and got her collar stuck under the chicken wire and the neighbors cut the wire to get her head out but she stayed in the catio until I got home.  Not sure how many hours she was in it but she must have liked it cause she wants to go in it!

 



 

On Sunday we ventured outside and went to the field and played before it got to dark and cold.  Yes, my kids are walking up the rock hill.  Never have they done this and I am so don't want them to get hurt but I have to remind myself all the time I have a boy and he needs to be adventuress and I let him go to where he is but not any further and of course Grace had to follow. 
 

 

This is my Buddy at his last hockey practice this week. :)

 

 

And this was last night.  My Lucy laying by me on the couch where she isn't supposed to be.  And on the wall Hunter's first colored picture where he colored everything!  Grace had to tape it to the wall with about 10 pieces of tape.  Tape is her favorite thing in the whole wide world.  I got her some for her stocking at Christmas and she used it all up in a couple of days. 
 

 

Well I am off to cleaning and getting things done today.  This weekend isn't as lazy as last weekends so I better chop, chop.  :)